I admit, I am one of these dummies who would blog about how everything would ~*change*~ starting now and list off my resolutions one by one as if having all my biz-ness in the public eye would somehow motivate me to actually achieve the goals I have set for myself. I created 3 new blogs last year in the hopes that I would write more...THREE! Can you believe that? This is one of them, actually. HA!
Anyway, the beginning of a new year is really no different than any other time, just like Monday is no different than any other day. It may feel like a fresh start, but really, come on! There is a certain type of hysteria associated with this time of year. Social media and diet programs have noticed that Americans are obsessed with this "new beginning" mumbo-jumbo (I can't believe that I just used that word) and have royally cashed in. Skeptic, are you? If you didn't start a diet regimen, smoking cessation program, etc., exactly on 1 January, I bet you did on 4 January.
Why?
Well, because New Year's Day isn't reaaaallly the beginning. I mean, after all, it's still considered part of the Holiday Season. Plus, it fell on a Friday! That soooo doesn't count! We were lucky enough to have Lady Fortune herself bestow us with this gift of a holiday extension!
Now, it is imperitave that you read the words "Lady" and "Fortune" in a pretentious 1950's American/British accent. Example as follows: lay-DEH FOAH-chyoon. Practice. Reread. Wunderbar!
Look down at your hands. Put your fingers together. If the above statement sounds similar to something you would say, chances are that your middle finger is the longest finger on your hand. How do I know that? What type of esoteric knowledge do I possess?! Well, I really don't claim to know anything. Alls I know is that it's a common belief among palm readers that a Saturnian (one whose middle, or Saturn, finger is longer than the rest) behave in this way.
What do I think? Glad you asked...even if you didn't really. I believe that people have been obsessed with time since, well, the beginning of Time! Think about societies through history and the signifigance of each equinox and solstice. More specifically, think about the agrarian. One must plant a certain crop within an exact timespan, lest he or she perish. Nowadays, in our little Capitalist bubble, we really aren't bothered with such things.
We have exchanged Harvest for Thanksgivachristmahanukkwanzaayule.We are able to go to the supermarket and buy blueberries in the dead of winter. So long as the growers provide, consumers can buy. We are able to run to those pre and post holiday sales as well as eat and party ourselves into oblivion. Later, when I begin to regretfully resemble the holiday ham I have consumed and someone else coughs up tar and blood, we decide to make our resolutions. We're self-obsessed time whores.
All that, and most people possess a longer middle finger than the rest. Pity. We should use it more.
Okay, I'm officially ending my New Year's post. I think it is quite obvious that I am on cold medication and need to go back to sleep. Also, my TV is telling me that I need to buy P90X.
Catch y'all later!
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